I don’t expect be a millionaire. Because apparently, when you don’t expect something, it comes to you.
After my last cycle and another arrival of AF, we stopped TTC. I stopped blogging, I stopped researching, I stopped temping, I stopped everything. I even stopped taking prenatals. I know. How awful. But I did. I just wanted to move on with my life. I hated how TTC took over my life that I stopped…living. I went out with friends and drank cold beer, ate sushi (not the artificial crab crap but real, raw Albacore and Yellowtail)…twice, and get this….I finally booked my tickets to Philly to visit my cousin and train tickets to NYC for a week long trip in March for my 30th birthday. And you think that’s jaw dropping? For Valentines Day, The Hubs and I went to Vegas. I did POAS, just in case, the night we left for Vegas. Negative. 5 days before expected AF, but still…negative. We sat at blackjack tables next to gasp – smokers! It was disgusting but that’s what Vegas is and no way was I pregnant or actively TTC so, eh – I was fine.
Before our Valentines Vegas trip, I went to my OB/GYN for the first time since my D&C last April. The Hubs and I decided to get help. We wanted to see a specialist for tests and possible IUI/IVF treatments. My doctor gave me good advice and a referral and right away, my appt to see Dr. D was made for well..whadayaknow...today. I thought, we’ll take this Vegas trip and my east coast trip in March and start TTC again with some help.
Lo and behold….
I woke up Tuesday morning at 4:20am with the biggest headache and chills. It’s 80 degrees here during the day now and at worst 50 degrees at night/dusk, and I was bundled up so to be this cold – I didn’t understand. I shivered and The Hubs got extra blanket out for me. I thought I was dying. I fell back asleep thinking “OMG, I cannot call in sick at work after a 3 day weekend! That’s the worst!” I woke up late at 8:00 but there isn’t an exact time I need to be in the office by. Any time between 7:30-9:00 is fine so I felt late but technically wasn’t. I dragged myself out of bed, no longer cold or shivering, but nauseous with the weirdest feeling. I had a few more of those cheap tests left. I decided to POAS. Two lines. Not faint. Very distinct. No flippin’ way! I immediately emailed my manager and told her I wasn’t coming in. And then I realized…wait, why am I not going in? I’m preggo, doesn’t mean I can’t work? Or does it? My brain was racing 300 mph. All I thought was, I have to see the doctor to be 100% sure so forget work for now. I even thought, do I need to go back to bed and just lie there for 10 months? It was 8:30. Doctor’s office doesn’t open for another half hour. With my eye boogers and disheveled hair and sweats, I drove to the pharmacy across the street to buy the “unnecessarily 10x more expensive yet for some reason I will trust more” HPT’s. I quickly came back home and tested again. Twice. Both positive. I didn’t cry, because I knew…this is just the beginning…again.
So now, I sit and wonder…the days I skipped prenatals, the 2 sushi & beer outings, the cocktails in Vegas, the cigarette smoke, the Venti Starbucks on the drive to Vegas…uuhhh…what the hell was I thinking? And I remember…I was just living my life. If this time is the one, then God has planned it that way. If it is not, He’s planned that, too. Not in my control.
Doctor did call yesterday to confirm preganancy and my hcg&progesterone levels. HCG = 716; P= 16. She said it's still very early. I'm exactly 4 weeks 2 days since my last AF so I know I'm not that far along. To even post this blog, I'm nervous because I know this is all way too soon to even say "I'm pregnant". I know I am...but I just can't bring myself to believe it. Doctor has already prescribed progesterone suppositories. She says 16 is normal but would still like to see it higher. My next blood draw is not until Monday. I'm thinking about calling to push it up to tomorrow so I can go into the weekend with a little less anxiety. Although - that's not possible either way. As for symptoms - oh where did the nausea go all of a sudden??? I no longer have it. My bbs are a little bigger and sore but not unbearable.
So - expect the unexpected! I feel very positive though. :)
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Such great news!! Congratulations! Praying that things continue to progress as they should.
ReplyDeleteWOW!! this is great news! isn't it funny that when you do all the things you're 'supposed' to - it never turns out the way we want it to? I'm glad you 'lived' and you should definitely continue to live your life ( minus the booze of course:) ) b/c like you said, God will be in control!
ReplyDeleteOMG OMG OMG, this is fabulous! I'm SO excited! I had a feeling something was up when I read your comment to my post!
ReplyDeleteI know it's early but ALL successful pregnancies start with these early scary stages!
I am like you, as you know. I go over every little detail again and again, ruminating about what I've done 'wrong,' but think about it like this - there was a while there before the little guy/gal even implanted where nothing you could do would go into its system and even after that, it takes a lot of weeks before the placenta is formed and before anything you ingest (like caffeine) even starts passing through it. People have done far worse for far longer. I drank (kind of a lot) during my TWW and mine seems healthy as can be. I still inhale smoke accidentally periodically but I've never seen anything saying that incidental exposure causes problems. Ditto for caffeine. I can't believe how worked up I got over that. Seems silly now. The peanut's little heart is still pumping away, strong as ever. One of my commenters said her nurse _recommended_ an espresso every once in a while for headaches during pregnancy. That made me feel better.
Japanese women don't typically give up sushi during pregnancy. Symptoms come and go (really, they do).
I realize it's impossible not to worry. I love your idea of staying in bed for 10 months. But try to keep it all in perspective. It's the only thing that helps me. The statistics are in your favor. You 'caught it' really early and adjusted your behavior and I can't imagine that anything you did in Vegas could affect your peanut.